general_fan_fictionfandomcom-20200214-history
Wiki Age Origins/Issue 01
Issue 01 is the first issue of Wiki Age Origins, It was written by CamTheWoot and was published on May 2nd 2014. ---- Issue 01 Next: Issue 02 ---- Grave: (Narrating) "The books of Kenny tell us that it is the ambition of men, that brought the anons into this world. The chat mods sought to usurp heaven but instead, they destroyed it. They were banned, twisted and cursed by their own corruption, they returned as monsters, the first of the wikia contributors. They became a blight upon every article, unbanable and relentless. The Walking Dead Wiki was the first to fall and there, from the blogs, the anons drove at us again and again until finally, we neared rage quitting. Until the staff members came! Janitors and Admins in every timezone, Photographers and Chat mods, Video gamers and Novel readers. The staff members sacrificed everything, to stem the tide of darkness... and win! It has been over a year since that victory but we have kept our vigil, we have watched and waited for the anons to return but those who once called us heroes have forgotten. We are few now and our warnings have been ignored for too long. It may be too late, for I have seen with my own eyes what lies on the horizon. Kenny help us all. For generations, your family, the McGee's have administrated the Carrot Wiki (what kinda stupid fucking name?) earning the loyalty of the users, with justice and temperance. When wikia was occupied by the Wikipedia empire, your Father and grandfather served the admins of your wiki. Today your brother takes up house McGee's banner in service to the admins, not against Wikipedia but Against the anon horde." Kaffe and TheSamBuckley stand in Kaffe's castle, surrounded by users. They are discussing their plans for battle TheSamBuckley: "I expect they'll be online tonight and we can march tomorrow. I apologize for the delay my lord. This is entirely my fault." Kaffe: "No, no. The apperence on the anon horde on the The Walking Dead Wiki blogs has us all scrambling. I wouldn't expect any less." Our hero, Dickface McGee stumbles into the room. With a bottle of vodka in one hand and a cigarette in another. Dickface: "Oi up Dad, what you fuckin' want?" Kaffe: "Ah Dickface, there you are!" he says, truing to Sam. "you remember my youngest son, don't you?" TheSamBuckley: "I see he's amassed quite an edit count! He's grown into a fine young user! Not as fine as TheSamBuckley™ though." Dickface: "The fuck do you want?" Kaffe: "Since your brother is leading our forces to The Walking Dead Wiki and I'm going with Sam, I'm leaving you in charge of the wiki." Dickface: "k" Kaffe: "That's what I like to hear, only a few users actually come here so you wont really need to keep the peace. Just... don't get it taken down in my absence. There's also someone you must meet, please show Gravelord in!" Gravelord walking in, wearing this badass robe, all swaggy and shit. Gravelord: "It is an honor to be invited to your wiki, Kaffe." TheSamBuckley: "Holyfuckingshitwhat.jpg Kaffe, you didn't mention a staff member would be present!" Kaffe: "Gravelord arrived unannounced quite recently. Is there a problem?" TheSamBuckley: "Of course not but a user of the stature demands certain protocol. Even TheSamBuckley™ (I) is at a disadvantage." Kaffe: "Yes we do rarely get to meet Staff members in person, that's true. Dickface you do know what a staff member is, don't you?" Dickface: "Course I know, ya dizzy cunt!" Kaffe: "Yeah... Anyway, Duncan is looking for recruits to join him on The Walking Dead Wiki. I believe he has his eye on Dom." Dickface: "Who's Dom?" All of them stand around for a second and think. Kaffe: "I'm not sure." Gravelord: "If I may be so bold, Dickface would also make a fine staff member." (Dickface vomits on Sam) Kaffe: "Now, now. He may be tasty but lets not get hasty. This is my son we're on about!" (Dickface vomits on Sam again) Kaffe: "Anyway, Dickface can you go and find Lucas? Tell him to lead the users to Fables Wiki. That's where we'll be meeting the anon horde!" Dickface: "Yeah fukin' sure." Dickface walks out of the room into the courtyard. His family live in this big bloody castle because they're important and want not. He walks down a small alley and sees Dom walking towards him. Dickface: "Oh shit, time to goooooooooooo!" Dickface turns around and runs in the opposite direction. He walks around the castle before eventually getting into the larder. Lee Dixon was rummaging around, wagging his tail. Dickface: "Come on Dog, fukin' dumb shit motherfucker." Lee Dixon barks and follows him out. They continue to walks through the castle, eventually coming to LucasTG's room, where he is sitting alone. Dickface: "Hey fgt." Lucas: "Hey bro, what are you doing here?" Dickface: "I'm supposed to tell you something about Buckley's men being delayed. You're supposed to go on without them." Lucas: "K den, You're here to see me off then?" ~Kaffe has entered the room~ Kaffe: "Yes we are son." Dickface: "Fukin wait, of you were coming to see Lucas off, why did you ask me to do it?" Kaffe: "I wanted the whole family here" Lucas: "Don't we have a mum? And don't I have a son?" Kaffe hugs his two sons and covers Lucas's mouth Kaffe: "I wanted the whole family here" Lucas and Dickface look scared and confused, they share glances with thoughts akin to "Our dad might be a rapist/ murder/ Grandmasta". Kaffe: "Anyway you two should be off to bed, you've got a big day tomorrow or something like that." (My explanation of this scene makes more sense than the one in the game.) Lucas: "But it's two in the afternoon!" Kaffe glared at him, with a look saying "I'm going to rape you the death." Lucas gulped and ran to bed along with Dickface. During the night Dickface gets awoken by Lee Dixon growling at the door Dickface: "The fuck is wrong with you?" He said, rubbing his tiny Asian eyes... and by eyes I mean penis The door swung open and some guy fell down into the room with an arrow in his back. Dickface "Holy fucking shit monkeys!" He ran over to a weapons rack at the side of his room with several weapons neatly laid out. Next to a bong, some lines of cocaine and a stack of questionable magazines with Bloxx's mum on the cover. Dickface: "That fuck am I going to take?" What weapon will you take? Great sword Short Sword Mace Bow and Arrows Two Daggers Category:Issues Category:Wiki Age Origins Issues Category:Wiki Age Origins Category:CamTheWoot